'Showdown' - Part 18: - 'Life is a Cabernet'
by Robin

Special Agent John Dogget stepped out of his fleet rental sedan and surveyed the rolling hills of Mendocino County vineyards. Puffing and groaning behind him, followed by a muffled "thump" heralded Special Agent Dana Scully's wallowing roll out of the passengers seat and subsequent four-point touchdown. Doggett pondered Agent Scully's actions wondering if that third Quarter-Pounder and fries she consumed at lunch might not have been a bit excessive. Scully seemed a bit out of shape for field work and could probably use a session at Quantico to tone up and shed some of the weight she seemed to be layering on with a trowel.
"Uha little help here?" Scully called. Doggett made his way around the car to where Scully waited on her hands and knees and gently assisted her to her feet. Scully puffed an errant lock of hair out of her face and took in the scenery. They were at a winery in the middle of the annual crush. Workers were running around like purple, unshaven ants, unloading grapes, crushing grapes, slipping on grapes, cursing grapes.
"What are we doing here, Agent Doggett? I thought we were looking for Mueller."
"Mueller?" Doggett asked in confusion. Scully turned a basilisk eye.
"My missing *partner*? Frank *Mueller*?"
"Umyou mean Fox Mulder?"
Scully's eyes glazed over as she thought a minute. She looked back at Doggett.
"You could be right about that," she conceded.
"Agent Scully, you *do* know that's only our cover mission, right? I mean, Skinner told you about the funnel blower?"
"What are you talking about Agent Doggett?"
"Well, Skinner came to the office while you wereumoutand said that our *real* mission was to locate the funnel blower. And I figured that sounds like something Alex Krycek would have to be involved with. So here we are."
Scully looked at him doubtfully while rummaging in her pockets for a Baby Ruth -- her second since lunch.
"Tell me, Agent Doggett, was Skinner kind of purple and swollen when he gave you this information. You know, lots of cranial varicose veins and stuff? Blowfish lips?"
"Yes, Agent Scully. He was looking a bitturgid."
"Thong of Power," Scully sighed, ripping the wrapper off her Baby Ruth.
"Excuse me?"
"He didn't say 'funnel blower." He said 'Thong of Power.' My God, I hoped we had seen the last of that."
" I don't understand. What is the Thong of Power?"
"The Thong of Power, Agent Dogget, is a specialized haute-couture weapon-undergarment, the most devious known to mankind. Although," she shot a quick look at Doggett's inseam, "you might be able to handle it."
"How come I never heard of it?"
"Skinner doesn't want anyone to know it fell into enemy hand."
"Hands," Doggett corrected her.
"No. Hand. You were right about one thing, Agent. This involves Alex Krycek all right. But let me ask you a question. Why are we at a winery?"
"Well, I questioned the guy at the Jiffy Lube where Krycek was rumored to be working while you were napping in the car. He said Krycek got a phone call and quit without giving notice. I figure, where would a rat hide in wine country? With other rats, of course. And these guys that work the crush? They're called Cellar Rats. So?" He shrugged in conclusion.
"Very clever Agent Doggett. You start questioning these guys. I think I'll just lay down for a minute in the back seat. But, Agent Dogget?"
"Yes, Agent Scully?"
"No matter what Skinner told you, we are *not* giving up our quest to find Fred Miller."
"You meanoh, what the hell," Doggett said.
Nearby, a pair of eyes and ears monitored their conversation. As Doggett made his way into the winery and Scully heaved herself into the back seat of the sedan, Alex Krycek burrowed his way out of a pile of pomace that was fermenting aromatically in the sun.
So! They were looking for the Thong of Power and they thought he had it. Krycek grimaced, his purple teeth camouflaged by his purple face and hair. Spitting out a glassy-winged sharpshooter and plucking the Phylloxera lice out of his ears, Krycek reflected on the irony of the fact that Doggett's cover mission -- his search for Mulder -- was actually his *real* mission. For Krycek knew what the others did not. When last seen, the Thong of Power was in Mulder's possession. Clearly, Krycek had to find Mulder first. And with an obviously fecund Agent Scully hampering Dogget's search, he might have a chance.
One thing troubled Krycek. If Doggett's information had been skewed because Skinner was in the throes of a nanite-induced bloat, that meant *someone* had found the palm pilot he had so carelessly left on a Greyhound bus bound for Memphis several months before. Someone who knew what it was and understood its use. This could be bad. Very, very bad

To be continued...........

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