A little spider has built his
web under our porch light in the back
yard. Most of the day he sits and sits and sits. But, at night,
when
we turn on the light, and myriad moths and bugs start flitting
around,
poor little spider has to get real busy.
(three bugs land on web simultaneously)
Spider: "AAHH!!" (run
run run, bite bite bite, spin spin spin) "Why
can't they just line up and take a number?!"
(six more bugs land on web)
"AAHH!!
(run run, huffpuffhuffpuff, bite,
spinspinspin).
"Do they think I'm made
out of silk, for crying out
loud!?"
(more bugs, runbitespin, pantpantpant)
"Next time, I'm contracting this
out!"
(runbitespin).
"I'm burning more calories
than this is worth!!
Please, Lord, drop me a big juicy bunny. Or a wildebeest! I promise
to
leave the lady bugs alone!!"
(runrunrun, wheezewheeze, more bugs)
"Are they busing them in!? Sheesh!"
(porch light goes out, humans
turn on MST3K. Spider clings to window,
watching)
"Oh, pleasepleaseplease, not Deadly Mantis!!"
(collapses)