'The Screaming Skull'

This is what happens when those wild and crazy folks who gave us the 'dah dah dah' commercials decide to make a romantic movie. A young bride (Mamie Eisenhower) and her new husband (Sam Donaldson) find the house of their dreams, furnish it with a staircase and various filing cabinets, then proceed to live out their manic-depressive fantasies. Sort of 'Jane Eyre' filmed by Oliver Stone.
We also meet the flinchy gardener (David Carradine) who founders around a back-forty the size of Guatamala, and spends his time stacking flower pots while drooling and going wall-eyed every time the heroine draws breath. Our couple is also stalked by the local vicar (John Glenn) and his wife (Deadly Mantis), purveyors of door-to-door garage sales.
In blissful tedium, Mamie dons a Victoria's Seasick bathing suit and breast-strokes around the cesspool while hubby vacuums and dusts the basement graveyard, and barbeques the artwork. We are also treated to teleporting peacocks, ominous lily pads, and romantic interludes of the happy couple sitting around planning their funeral. This movie was filmed in a variety of industrial grays and scored by the Omaha Philharmonic and Glee Club.
Up on the SOL, Mike is terrorized by the Inner Crow, plays the coffin lottery, Servo becomes raptor prey, Bbbbarb earns spare change as a telemarketer, and Pearl raids a penguin warehouse.

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