"Leech Woman"
An aging social parasite, masochist,
and Olympic whiner who lusts for Al Gore, but is inconveniently
trapped in a marriage to Dr. Mengele, decides to find eternal
youth and beauty in deepest Africa, heretofore unknown as the
Avon Capital of the world. In route she meets the great white
Prisoner of Wicker and hired escort who dies gruesomly while saving
her frumpy ass, before he can collect his fat fee or top billing.
Our heroine, stuck in a marriage designed by Luca Brazzi, camps
out in Congonian KOAs, watches outtakes from 'When Animals Attack',
and critiques the native disco.
Finally released from hot flashes, water retention, and wild mood
swings between adolescence and senility, she again lives on the
wild side by de-braining hustlers, losers, secretaries with bundt
cake hair, while dressed in a wardrobe by Davy Crockett and US
Steel.
All is not hopeless, however, because we have that creepy old
hag Malla, the paradigm of obnoxious movie characters who sucks
her elderly gums, cackles frog-faced about bloody deaths, wiggles
her dewlaps, naps between respirations, and ends her life playing
'raise the rafter' with every young stud on the continent. Not
a bad life, IMO.
Also, we once again remember to be grateful for the death of Ape
Planet, learn how nanites demand respect, and re-live one of Servo's
(many) fantasies as Granny Clampett.