'Sidehackers'

(To the tune of 'Help!', by the Beatles)

HACK!!
I need a buddy,
HACK!!
Who's a quicker study
HACK!!
Than these nitwit crackerrrrrrrrrrs
HAAA AAACK!!
(doodle duh deedle duh doodle duh deedle duh duh dum)

Rolling in the grass is gonna make me sneeeee eeeeeeze,
And Rita's square
Or doesn't care
About my allergies.
(bum bum bum)
My brain-dead pals are trading jokes in tailings piiiiiiiiiiits,
While I strain my spleen
With histamines
Craving that tire tread grit.

HACK! And here comes trouble and attaaaaaacking,
(bum bum) It's
Sniveling in fourth gear and hardling taaaaaaaaching.
(bum bum) How
Come Ben-Hur side-stepped this bush waaaaaaacking?
It's all sleeeeeeeeze, wheeeeeeze, debris.
(dum dum dum)

And now I'm dead and can't play layabooooooout,
Or laying ass,
Spewing gas,
With mindless peeling out.
(dum dum dum)
I miss those days speed-plowing with dirt biiiiiiiiiiikes,
And why they filmed the plot
Through a coin slot
Sent me down that last turnpike.

HACK! Love quadrangles are a biiiiiiiiitch.
(bum bum) That
Leads to bloody shoot-outs ripe with kiiiiiiiitsch,
(bum bum) HACK!
If I had only one last wiiiiiiiiiiiish,
It's to beeeeeee, beeeeeeeee germ-free.

 

REVIEWS

HOME