'Eegah' Review
(To the tune of 'It's Not Easy Being Green')
It's not Eegah being mean
To those kids that fled the scene
After he'd tried to share his roadkill
But decided to wear it instead
Like the Amazing Colossal Essene.
Dune buggies won't return your love
Giant tongues aren't well-thought of
Especially when demonstrating foreplay
To an airhead spelunker with an Oedipal complex
Dropping rocks on you from above.
People evolve, learn coherent sounds
Make new friends, and get around
Other than chasing desert reptiles into their burrows
And wondering why bathing is important
Leaving you lonely and cave-bound.
No, it's not Eegah being mean.
When you lack the major gene
To help you find a decent agent
And get real cool acting gigs
Other than 007's Pleistocene
Punching bag.