Quest of the Delta Knights
It was one big, bad hair day, back in
the Dark Ages when paunchy Vikings roamed the earth, gawking at
the all-purpose Sarah Douglas whose never been able to control
her cleavage, while the Evil Lord Vole Chair (Liza Minelli) challenged
the Good Lord Beige Stool to hand over the secrets of the long-dead
Archimedes (played by Buffalo Bill) hidden in a mine shaft just
south of Sausalito and consisting of lava lamps, day-glo koosh
balls, and pay-per-view technology.
Lord Stool (actually presented nicely by that perpetually employed
middle-aged, 'dead meat' character-actor, David Warner) frees
young David Spade from slavery so that they might both attend
Sally Struthers' School of Wizardry in order to solve the Y1K
bug. They team up with Winona Judd and Leonardo Di Moines (played
by one of the fifty ubiquitous and always annoying Baldwin brothers),
and are then held captive at the World of Rope.
Everyone is dressed in the finest 'Ten Commandment's' knock-offs,
then liberally dipped in vermin, with many scenes of entrerpreneurial
begging, dancing for dollars, duelling chamber pots, burlap, medieval
landfills, pregnant goats, and propane candles. Sort of a soapless
Renaissance Weekend gone postal, or a cross between 'Braveheart'
and 'The Muppet Movie'.
Meanwhile, back on the SOL, Loaned Crow tries out his acceleration
skills, Quadruple Servo, complete with boobs, sings bawdy ballads,
Mike is beamed down to Castle Forrester for a beer-guy-Cheeto
fest, while Pearl consults a pain adjuster.