(my first msting, which is why it's a little, um, minimalistic)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 Does 'Millennium'
(Mike Nelson, Tom Servo, and Crow T. Robot are off on an expedition to find the missing Bobo, when they happen to walk past the theater screen, and catch a few minutes of our favorite tv show, 'Millennium')
(Close up of Frank Black, alone, staring at the floor, sitting in the darkness. All is silence, silence.....)
Mike: Gee, this man has a serious constipation problem.
(Catherine comes into the room, gazes lovingly at Frank)
Crow: Will somebody please iron this guys face!!?
Catherine: 'Frank, I'm-'
Crow: Lizzie Borden
Catherine: '-worried. We really need-'
Servo: A wardrobe.
Catherine: '-to talk about this man.'
Mike: Who's still hanging in our basement.
Catherine: 'Frank, you've got to quit-'
Crow: Clown School.
Frank: 'I know, but sometimes I just feel like-'
Servo: A nut!
(Frank and Catherine kiss)
Crow: Oh, look. She's trying to raise the dead.
(pager flashes '2000')
Servo: Flushes!
(Peter Watts enters the room)
Mike: Hey, it's Fredo Corleone!
Peter: 'Frank, this package came for you.'
Servo: It's a present from Alien.
(Commercial break - 'This portion of Millennium is brought to you by-)
Mike: The Antichrist
(Frank has gruesome visions of death, murder, demons)
Servo: Low blood sugar will do that, you know.
Frank: 'The killer is trying to send us a messsage'
Crow: And he couldn't find a *stamp*!?
Frank: 'It's a verse from Revelations that says-'
Servo: Kiss Your Ass Goodbye
Peter: 'The killer said it was horrible, we're doomed, lost.....'
Mike: He'd just seen the ratings.
Frank: 'There will be chaos, loved one will turn on loved one, even dogs will turn and disembowel their masters.'
Mike, Servo, and Crow: We don't own a dog!!!!!
Frank: (slowly smiling, leaning into the camera, then grinning hugely) 'You will.'
(Fade to white)