(Credits roll)

Mike: "A James Cameron film!"
Crow: "So, now he's king of interstellar space, too?"
Servo: "Aw, c'mon Crow. You gotta have a big ego to succeed in Hollywood."
Mike: "Good point, Tom. Otherwise, you make 'The Color Purple'."
Crow (alarmed): "We like you, James! We really, really like you!"

(escape pod drifts into view. Ripley's defrosted. "Well, there goes our salvage, guys.")
Mike: "Not to worry. 'Titanic' and 'Abyss' are on their way."
Servo: "Toaster Strudel in Space!"
Crow: "Amazing advances in cat storage, for crispy freshness."

(Ripley meets with Company poobahs. "Did IQs drop sharply while I was away?")
Mike: "As have gender distinctions, apparently."
Servo: "Gee, after fifty-seven years, they couldn't give her a gold watch?"
Crow: "Reiser sees 'meal ticket' written all over her, the slug."

(Ripley meets Lance, as Bishop: "It is impossible for me to harm or by omission or inaction allow to be harmed a human being.")
Mike: "Too bad they didn't download idiomatic English back at the factory."
Crow: "I read his autobiography, 'Life of an Embalmed Creepoid'."

(Marines storm the atmospheric processor on LB 246)
Mike: "Hey, it's the Satellite of Love!"
Servo: "There's our doors! And our tunnel!"
Crow: "But Cameron used the *$700* toilet seat."
Servo: "Oh look. A Borg."
Crow: "Would it be blasphemy to mention that Giger's starting to get on my nerves?"

(Ripley and Lance chase down Newt)
Mike: "Haley Joel Osment goes grunge."
Servo: "And a Marie Antoinette Barbie."
Crow: "Remember when little kids just worried about getting rescued from wells by collies?"
Mike: "At what point did Bishop's circuits calculate that Ripley was in charge?"

(Marines attacked by aliens. Hudson: "Multiple signals! They're all around us! They're comin' outta the walls!")
Mike: "The aliens will now force them to sit and watch crappy movies."
Servo: "It's Open House at Charlton Heston's."
Crow: "What *really* happened at Fort Marcy Park."

(Ripley suggests nuking aliens from space. Reiser: "This installation has a substantial dollar value attached to it." Ripley replies.........)
Mike, Servo, and Crow: "THEY CAN BILL ME!"
Mike: "Thank you, James Cameron, for introducing a cultural paradigm shift."
Servo: "What's a paradigm?"
Mike: "Four nickels."
Crow: "And to think that Henry Fonda had to nuke New York, the sissy."

(Hudson whines: "These things are gonna come in here, come in here and kill us all. Oh man, I was getting short. Four more weeks and out.")
Mike: "Is this where Paxton *started* worrying about his career?"
Servo: "No wonder Helen Hunt tried to drive a picket fence through his heart."
Crow: "At least he chopped and exploded Krychek's liver on that mountaintop."

(Larval aliens attack Ripley)
Mike: "Whoa! That's *much* more erotic than Rose and Jack."
Servo: "Or Reese and Sarah Connor."
Crow: "Or Schwarzenegger and an Exacto knife."
Servo: "Or Ed Harris on a plate of neon aspic."
Mike: "Only Cameron could invent a sensual and homicidal catcher's mitt."

(Aliens fall from ceiling, eat Hudson and Reiser)
Mike: "It's Lobster Fest!"
Servo: "Brak and Exetor had this same problem with domestic help."
Crow: "Florida voters finally chose their candidate."

(Vasquez to Gorman, before blowing each other up: "You always were an asshole.")
Crow: "Hey, he didn't let *his* kids drown in steerage."
Mike: "Ah, a little mutual fragging at the end of the day."
Servo: "Good thing those Pop Rocks were recalled."

(Ripley and Bishop go after Newt in the drop ship)
Mike: "This movie will just not quit!"
Servo: "Three movies in one!"
Crow: "Man, Ripley can't find decent day-care anymore."
Mike: "I gotta pee!"

(Ripley and Newt meet Mother Alien)
Crow: "Joan Rivers!"
Servo: "Ya know, natural childbirth really *is* gross."
Mike: "She's laying Hot Pockets."
Servo: "Is there a flow chart on the life-cycle of these things?"
Crow: "Sure; egg, power drill, chain saw, Benihana chef."

(Escape to Sirocco, Mother Alien tears Bishop in half, goes after Newt. Ripley: "Get away from her you BITCH!!")
Mike: "And 'Put. Down. The bunny.'"
Servo: "Ah, c'mon. They're just two single moms, hanging out......"
Crow: "Ya know, WWF really needs to butch up."
Mike: "There's not going to be a Happy Meal tie-in, is there?"

(Happy Ending)
Mike: "Wow, I'm really beat!"
Crow: "You? The main characters just got *hammered*."
Servo: "I know just how they feel! That was hard work all around, so, let's sing the 'Alien' theme song!"

Crow: "And Mom *needs* dental."

MSTINGS

HOME