(Look at me!)

Maxine's first night. It's like the moon landing or riding a bike -
who
can ever forget? How could anything so small screech like a banshee for
so long? Are eight-week old puppies one-tenth hair, one-tenth bladder,
and mostly lungs? Do they have 10000 Mhz amplifiers stored in their
tonsils? Well, as logical, reasonable, and responsible puppy people,
hubby and I did what was required. All I can say is: Thank you Lord,
for creating waterbeds. Since then she's had her choice, every night,
of curling up around either Mom's or Dad's neck. Her call.

(Look at me!)

Oh dear, Maxine, it's Monday morning and we have to go to work. In
the
crate you go, so sorry. I'll be home for lunch, ok? This lasted, oh,
about thirty seconds, until the super-pouting became unbearable ('Why
are you doing this? I'm *good*! Don't torture me! Why do you hate
me?'). Well, you know the drill. So, off to Petsmart again (they
remember me - $$$$ light up their eyes) for a doggie gate, which
sturdily and safely wedges itself in the door frame of a big, sunlit,
warm walk-in closet. (Sigh) Back to work. No worries.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It probably took her fifteen minutes to rip that
sucker off its hinges and crumble it into useless scrap. What do we
have here? Arnold Schnauzernegger?

(Look at me!)

Oh, all right, Maxine, you win this round. The house is
puppy-proofed,
and I manage to peek in every couple of hours (one perk of being self
employed) and await any inevitable mayhem she might create. But,
amazingly, there wasn't any. Except for the occasional piddle, she was
perfectly happy, and had gotten exactly what she wanted ('What? You
again? Can't a puppy get any sleep around here?'). Well, there was
that one time, when she got ahold of a book (yes, yes, my fault) and
shredded it into molecules. I went into the 'bad-bad' mode until she
cowered so abjectly she looked like a fuzzy gray waffle.
We learned, that after intense, time consuming, intelligent, properly
applied, loving and patient effort, Maxine had us trained beautifully.
One thing really amazed us was her *insatiable* curiosity. The
slightest event brought her to attention, such as going to the kitchen
for a soda ('Where are you going? What are you doing? What's that?
What's it for? Can I have it? Why not?). And, or course, there's that
patented schnauzer amiability: 'Why are you pulling those things out of
the ground? Weeds? I'll help!!!!' Good bye marigolds.

(Look at me!)

Pretty soon Maxine and her humans settled into a routine, and her life
became one adverture after another (Sleep. Potty.
Playplayplayplayplayplayplay. Repeat 428,657 times per day). But, one
time, we had a little scare, one that turned out, in hindsight, to be
our first real 'bonding' experience. We were walking around the
pasture, and suddenly here came two big Rottweilers that I had never
seen before.
Time stands still. Big dogs look at me, I look at them.
They look at Maxine. Maxine looks back at me, eyes big as dinner
plates. Well, without thinking, I start waving my arms, screaming like
Im on fire, run towards the dogs, grab Maxine, and do a quick reverse at
warp
speed (the two Rottweilers, belonging to a new neighbor down the road,
and turning out to be very nice, looked at each other and said,
'Humans. Go figure.') Maxine and I were shaking like a Cray Mainframe
on 'restart'. She looks up into my eyes as if to say,
'Next time Mom, when I'm bigger, I'll protect YOU.' We sat and cuddled
for an hour.

(Look at me!)

Oh Maxine. Look at you.

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